Poetry

As a child I was not afraid of the dark.

In dreams I would rearrange my body in the shape of a poem.
Repeating hands and feet, and hands and feet
I’m a crouching spider, tense limbs poised to pounce.

In dreams I would rearrange my body in the shape of a poem,
tossing and turning in aching insomniac tango
I’m a crouching spider, tense limbs poised to pounce,
like a ravenous dream catcher with bones dangling on strings

Tossing and turning in aching insomniac tango
to the glitching repeat of a broken record or highlight reel
or a ravenous dream catcher with bones dangling on strings
finger bones dug up from my hands and sun bleached in May

To the glitching repeat of a broken record or highlight reel
bearing a message of equality, “we’re all not good enough”
finger bones dug up from my hands and sun bleached in May
pepper the hot and sticky bedsheets twisted in tight knots

Bearing a message of equality, “we’re all not good enough”
repeating hands and feet, and hands and feet
pepper the hot and sticky bedsheets twisted in tight knots.
As a child I was not afraid of the dark.
(Originally published in Bluing the Blade 2021)

wanted

someone –
to put me in a coma.
preferred methods –
stabbing, brain infection, drug overdose.
details –
hello, i’m (21F) looking for someone
(anyone) to put me into a coma.
you can do it however you want,
i don’t really care
and i promise not to press charges.
but maybe it doesn’t matter.
i want it to not matter.
i want the coma to be just long enough for
some nice muscle atrophy. i want it
long enough to
warrant my friends and family coming to visit.
I want the coma to be just long enough to
forget what’s going on in the world.
just long enough for
some blissful amnesia.
i want to re-learn
how to walk,
how to talk,
how to eat,
how to be respectful,
how to get along,
how to be present in this world,
how to care for my fellow mankind.
i want to relearn
what it is to be human.
(Originally published in Bluing the Blade 2020)